to mom from #3

Mom,

With each year that I get to enjoy the blessing of being a mother, my respect for you grows and my heart is humbled. Here are some things for which I am so grateful.

You are a mom I could share anything with. You told me the truth and I told you the truth. We weren't afraid of being real with each other. I felt like the only girl with a mom like you.

You didn't have all the Bible studies under your belt in the 80s that you do now, but you had rock solid faith. You taught us with confidence that God has a good plan even when we go through hard circumstances. I remember vividly these lessons.

I was mesmerized by you as a child. You were so funny. Your spontaneous dancing and general silliness shaped me. (I think Avery looks at me the same way I looked at you.) All my friends loved your laugh. The burst of a howl followed by the unselfconscious hoo hoo hee hee ha ha made us giggle.

You are so comfortable to be with. We don't need a plan. We just plop down on the couch and share our hearts over hazelnut coffee. I love that.

You always give all you have. You give yourself. Growing up, I watched you give time, rides, money, groceries, hugs, smiles, encouragement, gifts...all.the.time.
You have the patience of Job. I didn't really know how self-centered I was as a child until I was an adult. One day you and Dad said, "Oh, Jenna, we are so relieved to see how sensitive you are to other people. You were the MOST self-centered child of the bunch." You didn't immortalize my weaknesses by pointing them out and trying to root them out of my life at a young age. You lived by example and waited patiently for the Lord to work in my heart. I find this extremely encouraging as a parent.

You were adventurous. You even tried to home school me. We lasted a good semester. Honestly, though, it was the best semester of my life. I loved being with you!

You valued arts and cultural experiences and thus made sure we had season tickets to the St. Louis Repertory Theater. I still remember Conversations With My Father, Fences, The Merry Wives of Windsor, A Christmas Carol, A Little Night Music, etc.... Maybe, this was a tiny influence on me ;)

You concocted and carried out some of the most hair-brained ideas, which turned out to make hilarious memories. My favorite was the time we got tired of the ducks. We'd acquired them on a whim at some rural county fair. For whatever reason, they became a nuisance and you decided that they belonged at someone else's farm. This didn't mean that you'd pick up the phone and find a new home for them. No, you spotted a good pond on someone else's property and didn't need to consult them. The plan we carried out was that when it got dark, we'd each hold onto a duck and lay low in the back of the pick-up while Dad drove. Then, when he stopped by the pond, we threw them over the fence as their feathers flew and they were quackin' at the moon. You're the only person I've ever thrown a duck with. I love you for that memory.

You are the best mother in the world for me. Happy Mother's Day!

Up Next, After the Antique Road Show!

What were you up to while I was putting the girls to bed?

Watching a PBS documentary on the Russian Famine.

What happened?

It was really sad. It started with a drought. They didn't have any food. Finally, Americans sent corn, milk and potatoes. But not before the starving people dug up graves and ate the flesh of the dead. Ten butcher shops were shut down for selling human meat.

Sweet dreams buddy!

just to clarify...this was a conversation between Brent and Miles.

dear mom, i'm sorry i haven't even posted pictures...

I was going to post some pictures just now. But, I opened my "Family 2010" picture folder, and there was virtually nothing there. Okay, there were two bad pictures of my kids. The other 800 pictures are still on my camera.

I know that I dropped off the face of the blogosphere. (I hate that term, but whatever.) Anyway, there's lots of good reasons:

1. Romeo and Juliet and their thirty-some cohorts needed costumes. done.

2. The power cord from my computer won't stay put, so it doesn't charge...or give power when my battery isn't charged. So, the laptop is usually out of commission. I think it's time we get a new computer. I could use advice. I'm very indecisive and take a LONG time to make biggish decisions.

3. I want to make the most of the little time I have left with my kids. It hit me recently that Avery is halfway to 18 years old. The first nine years went by too fast. I want to savor the vapor of this life.

So, if I have time, power (battery or AC, of course) and no major projects, I'll check-in here. At the very least, I hope to get some pictures up for the kids' biggest fans (aka Grandparents).

confession: things i said to my kids today

While playing cards with Miles...

Miles: I need a three of hearts.
Me: What? Oh. It sounded like you said "three of farts"
Miles: hee-hee
Me: What if you said you needed a King of Farts?

While trying to start reading The House on Pooh Corner...

Avery: I don't want to read that. All I think of is poop when I hear it.
Me: What if all the dogs in the neighborhood always pooped on our corner. Then WE would live in The House on Poo Corner.

So, there. I never said I was a perfect Mom, did I? By the way, I did say other things, too. Good things.

(And I read the book anyway. And we liked it so far.)

One of my many jobs: deciphering Miles' notes

Wanna give it a try??

It's a list of things he's thankful for. (I had to guess that, too.)

This has the same spacing he wrote out.

"viteeogeam's. sokr. sokrboll.e.fren's. 4 famly.amom hwodosint wont me to be akinqlaner. g. footboll.afootboll."

By the way, there are notes like this all over the house. He's been writing like this for years. It's almost like a foreign language. And, I should probably have an honorary degree in Milesese by now...

mothers and sons. let's discuss.

A friend pointed this out recently. Our culture doesn't value the relationship between the Mother and Son. Maybe, that sounds too general, but you'll see what I'm getting at...

There's Father-Daughter banquets. And being a "Daddy's girl" is a good thing.

There's the Father-Son bonding that's so important. Roughing it. Wrestling. Adventure. There are even retreats for Fathers and Sons.

There's the Mother-Daughter relationship that is just as beloved as the Father/Son. Bonding over shopping (supposedly), and cooking (perhaps) and staying attached for life ("because the Bible says, 'therefore a man shall leave his mother and father,' but not the woman"...you've heard that, perhaps?)

But, what about Mothers and Sons? Here's my personal experience:

"Mama's Boy" doesn't generally have a positive connotation, I don't think.

And I remember when I was pregnant with my first son. I recall shedding a few tears over that book Love You Forever the first time I read it. But, it was quickly spoiled by someone (who didn't have a son) saying something like, "I think it's creepy" or "That Mom needs to cut the cord."

I think sometimes as a Mother to sons, I have felt defensive about our connection, but didn't know why.

I've been afraid that I'd come off as creepy if I cherished their affections for me, too much.

I have mourned that it's not as special as the other parent-child relationships, without really wrapping my head around why I'd even feel that way. Just kinda felt marginalized or something.

And, I've already hoped and prayed for daughters-in-law who love me and accept me (and that I'll be a good mother-in-law, of course!!), because I know that if not, I have a limited time with my sons. And, that's depressing.

I don't have a resolution here about how I will or should think about my relationship with my sons. Just bringing it up for discussion. I think you all will help round out my understanding.