Tuesday, November 22, 2011

7 thoughts with neither intro nor outro

1. Just so you know, Phoebe is the cutest thing that has happened to the history of humanity. Here's one of many proofs. Her word for "meat"? "Meep". Boom. I win.

2. I hate talking on cell phones. First of all, I don't like things that give me cancer. Secondly, the delay is terribly awkward. Also awkward, the breaking up of the line while someone is pouring out their heart to you. It's so terribly uncomfortable to interrupt your friend's tears with, "Hey, San...Sandy?...Yeah...I can totally understand, but...Sandy...San...I-I-I'm sooooo sorry, but I honestly am not really catching all your words. Like, I get the gist that you're totally depressed and feel like you are one the edge and I want to talk about this more, but I'm missing every fourth word. Let me call you back when I'm not on Marshall Ave, k?"
"Oh. Can you hear me now?"
"Yes....But, I always hear when people ask that. I probably won't hear you if you actually start talking again."
I admit that my honesty in these situations makes things a bit more awkward.

3. I recently wrote a post about dyeing my hair. I think it's not relevant to enough readers to publish. What do you think? Should I rework and post or just let it RIP in my drafts cemetery?

4. I haven't picked up One Thousand Gifts since my last post. Somebody make me do it. Vanessa, did you finish it?

5. I think best while driving or while showering. And my synapses are way quicker in the morning.* When do you think best? When are you most likely to be inspired?

6. This past weekend, I was getting Jillian ready for a holiday boutique (aka "craft fair") outing. It was special because it was just the two of us. But, as usual, Jillian was melting down. She doesn't like to get her hair done. She doesn't like to get dressed. She doesn't like to wear her coat or her shoes. I had one of those moments of motherly psycho-clarity. That term has never occurred to me before now, but I think it fits well. I knelt down, put my hands on her shoulders and said firmly, "You will let me do your hair, because you are going to look pretty. And I'm going to look pretty. And we are going to look at pretty things. And we are going to have a pretty day. Do you understand?!" And she nodded her head "yes" and that was the beginning of a beautiful day. Strange.

7. I grabbed a shower between items 5 and 6. That's how I remembered my story about Jillian. No joke. Also, I had a great idea for a book and I'm not even a writer. Would a dry erase board work in a shower? just wondering... (Does anyone else think I sound like I'm on cocaine? I'm not, but sheesh...sloooow doooown, jenna)

*I totally googled "synapse in a sentence" because I have no confidence when using words that are medical, legal, literary, etc. This was no help. I just want to be straight up with you about my literary dumbness. I can't believe I was worried about this when in the same sentence I used, "way quicker." Awesome.


Chelsea Bass said...

Meep. So cute.

#6 is brilliant.

I am well-acquainted with the draft cemetery, though I am not one to recommend waking the dead. I find that those posts usually died for good reason.

Rachel said...

The lists are your thing, Jenna! I laughed and nodded all the way thru. Phoebe is a dolly!! I'm sorry for giving you cancer. I want a white board in my shower. Brilliant!

Becky Laparra said...

can we please get together so I can hear you say each and every one of these things to my face? i'm imagining it right now and I can't stop laughing. i love you.

Greta said...

Well I definitely want to hear about he hair dyeing. Fo sho.

And I guess i'd like you on cocaine... is that weird to say?

Vanessa said...

Nope. Haven't finished it. Nor have I picked it up since I commented on your blog. (Too busy reading the Outlander series. *sheepishly hangs head*)
Also? Love the shout out. :) Thanks!

Jenna said...

greta- hilarious. yes, it is weird to say that you would like me on cocaine. but, i take it as a compliment.

vanessa- you totally blew my mind, because the original title of the post was "9 thoughts and a shout out"but i could only come up with 7 and i started to lose confidence that it was an official shout out.

Vanessa said...

We must be on the same brain-wave or kindred spirits or something. :)

Kelly @ Love Well said...

Yeah. Cell phones are weird. Most of the time, they work for me. But those painful conversations, where you are always talking over the other person and then you can't make out the important stuff because the baby is crying? Yeah. I sometimes hang up and pretend I lost reception just to avoid the awkward.

You haven't read One Thousand Gifts? Go. Now. There is this great thing called Amazon. It's a great book. Apropos for this season, especially. And then, if you want to have a breakfast book club to discuss, email me. I'm in.

emily w. said...

i think this is the first time i've commented on your blog. but seriously, the cell phone thing is so hilariously true. why does "can you hear me now?" ALWAYS come out so loud and clear? so awkward.

thanks for being super funny. and be proud of using synapses in a sentence. people know what you were talking about, and that's the important thing!


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