Thursday, January 21, 2010

why PBS has been on for three hours this morning, plus bonus footage of jillian


We've had a stomach bug going through our family. Phoebe and I have formed an alliance and have avoided getting any of the major sicknesses that have threatened our well-being since mid-October.

Last week my Facebook status described a phenomenal five minutes, in which a glass jar of marinara exploded in our kitchen. It didn't fail to splatter our white walls or land in shoes and briefcases. It was amazing. Ninety seconds into cleaning that up, I heard a cough behind me. Mind you, it was 10:30 p.m. Our oldest had thrown up IN HIS SLEEP. He was covered in the puke version of tomato bisque. (The bisque has been taken off the rotation until next winter, I can assure you.) This meant that there was a twin-sized mattress amount of vomit waiting for us in his room. Thanks to my sacrificial husband, I was able to stay focused on the marinara and kid care while he dealt with the real mess.

About a week later, it was Jillian's turn. Because of my volunteer commitments at school, I missed most of her puking spells. (Thank you, Jesus.)

Yesterday, I called Brent at work and it went straight to voicemail. Hm. "...I am ill and will be out indefinitely..." Oh. He stumbled through the door and headed for bed only to eek out in a whisper, "pajamas."

A few hours later, the boys came home from school. Avery announced that Miles was sick. Miles insisted, "I'm not sick. I don't have a temperature." To which I asked, "Do you feel achy?" "yes." "Does your stomach hurt?" "yes." hm. "You're sick, Miles." He didn't say much, but I won that argument when I found him hurling on the carpet an hour later. Good thing we STILL haven't replaced the orange, commercial-grade carpet from 1962 in the family room. I just had to ask, "Did you eat your carrots at lunch." Clueless of the irony, he answered, "yes."

"I know," I said as I cleaned up the puke version of carrots.

One of the perks of puking in our family, is the refreshment of Gatorade. We had one 32 ounce bottle. Liquid gold, you could call it. Jillian found it and poured half onto the floor. (You can pick her up at the pound.)

i'm kidding.

Avery thought this was a good time to ask, "Can I have some Gatorade?" "No." "But, I didn't get any when I was sick." "That's because we didn't have any."

rummage, rummage, rummage.

His search paid off. He found a who-knows-how-old package of MIXADE (that's right. the generic of Kool-aid...because real Kool-aid is so expensive, right?) "Can you make this?" "Fine." So Mixade became the backpay for lack of Gatorade. Jillian found that this morning and poured half of the Mixade on the floor.

It was PBS or the pound for Jillian. I chose PBS. I guess Jesus DOES love her...


Sarah said...

I am so obsessed with her mouth...canNOT stop looking at it. Sooo precious. My heart went out to you over and over between all of the splattering, spilling and spewing. Ah..ha...I'm sooooo sorry. SO MUCH!!!Laughing so hard at the PBS or the pound. You were the one who always made me second guess whether it was okay or not to put the boys in separate rubbermaid containers. I will never forget that phone conversation.

Karla Anne said...


You have a gift for making the
UN-funny absolutely hilarious. I sure hope things start looking up in your household soon.


Tara said...

Poor, poor Jenna.

We'll come get Jillian.

Jenna said...

it's been a wild ride, i tell ya.

sarah, you love her mouth because she has a dainty overbite like your maryn. it's aDORable. i love it. reminds me of your sweetie pie. but, i have no idea where she got it.

aunt carol said...

WOW that sounds serious........ but I'll take my chances, live dangerously after seeing that video!!!Those cheeks,those eyes.


neely said...

i echo karla anne's comments.. i'm biased, but seriously, you have the gift of comedic timing in the written word. very hard to do.

jillie's sweet worship at the end is simply uplifting!

love, nee

Karla Anne said...

Oh, and Jenna, my kids and I have now viewed Jillian's video about 6 or 7 times. SOOOO sweet!

Ched said...

This is an epic narrative.

Mixmade FTW.

Freckles said...

Is it just me or does she say "He is weak but we are strong".... ?????

SOOOOO cute!

And Jenna, You always make me laugh... and I feel better about some of the moments I have like that...

Explosive poop all over baby, baby in the tub, dog in baby room eating the poop from the diaper and clothes, dog vomiting. Me covered in poop and dog vomit.

Life is so "different" with a child

Jenny said...

I heard about all of these events in the Jenna-voice version... but I missed this HI-larious written version. Expertly written.
And, Jillian is so incredibly edible. YUM!