Monday, January 4, 2010

thoughts on fear, eternity and whatnot

The past two days I've been thinking about heaven in terms of what won't be around the corner.

I have four healthy children...today. I have no cancer (that I know of)...today. My bills are paid...today. But, people, I'm quite honestly afraid of what can happen in this life.

I get sovereignty. I understand there is design in trials. I know that trials shake us like you'd shake off a welcome mat to get the dirt out. I need to be shaken...I know that. But grief and pain totally suck and I don't look forward to it. I'm afraid of fiery trials and deep waters.

They will come. He will carry me.

I'm just thinking about how awesome it will be in heaven where trials and fear are far, far behind.

5 comments:

Katherine @ Grass Stains said...

I feel EXACTLY the same way! Thanks for putting words to it. You're not alone. :)

JohnnyB said...

Can I create discussion here (and this is just the sinful idolater in me), but as you look at all these things, does the thought of "but these are the wonderful things that I will miss when I'm in heaven" cross your mind? I'm just saying there are days that I am so thankful and happy for what I have, I feel like I'll miss it when I'm home. I know it's not true, but can you imagine not missing your kids or your spouse when you're not with them? That's a concept that seems hard to fathom or put your head around.

Jenna said...

totally understand.

i can't imagine anything outside of what's created here (for instance, try to imagine a color that hasn't existed here...or a texture...you can't!).

i think this indicates that i can't truly imagine, in full, anything better than the best on earth.

and your comment reminds me of this post

Mandy said...

I totally feel you on this. I could have written it myself.

Amanda McAlpine said...

I think about cancer often. Probably too much. Doesn't everyone have it these days? Or so it seems to me. good post. Now if I were posting on this topic it would be about 10 paragraphs longer and no one would want to read it because it would be too long. You are good at the short, to-the-point but still can be deep blog posts!