Friday, March 7, 2008

back on the dating scene, part 2

I really intended on writing a post about my "date" with Miles. But, I think there's just too much back story on this kid. I want to share more about who he is before I move on to our date...which I may never write about, or maybe I'll get into it at the end of this post...we'll see.

He's quite different from his older brother. Miles is expressive and artsy and chatty. He is neither quiet nor enamored with sports. I feel so badly for the guy when Brent tosses him a ball (or whatever it may be as I've learned boys are likely to toss around a used napkin, or a sugar packet, or dirty socks...seriously...). At least 50% of the time, Miles doesn't catch it. And he has such a sweet disposition about the thing. "One more try," he naively suggests. Oh, it just breaks my heart to even conjur the many memories of watching him peeking under his long bangs in bright hopes of a catch. And he doesn't care nearly as much as I do. At least, I hope not.

Miles is not wimpy though. He lacks ball skills, but he'll take you down. He's a scrapper. If you're an adult, he'll call you out on your inconsistency or your hypocrisy or your poor logic. And if you're his brother, he'll take you down hard and fast. I've often thought wrestling could be the perfect sport for him, but the idea of one of my sons in a wrestling singlet is just something I can't handle right now.

moving on...

Some of you know that Miles has another family. Not a real one. Don't worry. He made one up when he was two, and it started with stories of his "Jet Father", then pronouced, "Jet Fozza". We loved it. Since then, there have been many additions to the "Jet" family. There was his "Jet Mother" who was born with one arm, who died when she was little. There was his "Jet Sister" by the name of Ada Jackson who also died. When he was just four, he told us that his "Jet Father" was a widow and that he lives in our neighborhood. The story is always changing with new members who die and come back to life. continuity schmontinuity.

This little buster prefers fiction to reality. For example, about a month ago, I said, "Let's take turns sharing with the family our favorite memory." I caught sight of Miles thinking, "and it has to be a REAL memory," I added. We each shared one thing. Then it was time for round two of our favorite memories. And on Miles' second turn he said, "Does it have to be real???? Because, I have so many really good memories with my Jet Family."

Despite Miles' love for fiction, he can hardly sit still to listen to a book. But, he can move and listen to a book. He's an "active listener". It's strange because, by all appearances, he's not paying a lick of attention. Then you ask a comprehension question and he nails it. It's astounding to me.

Well...I guess I'll just tell you the nutshell of my date with Miles, which I thought would go over better than the one with Avery, because I feel like I understand him. He knew with certainty that he wanted the plain cheesecake, despite the fact that I can easily make it at home. He ate 98% of it, which surprised me because he's usually so generous. After he was done, he whipped out a walkie-talkie that he'd smuggled on our date and attempted to have a conversation with his brother (who was approximately 7 miles from our restaurant). The only thing he wanted to talk to me about was the possibility of our neighbors moving out and their home being occupied by the actor who played Bubba Fet (from Star Wars...which he hasn't even seen.).

And that was our date.

So, struggling for closure for this post, I'll just say that whether I'm with quiet Avery, or chatty Miles, simply sitting together with a dessert, sans agenda is what this mother needs right now because these moments are helping me to love my boys more...and, ironically, the intention was to fulfill their needs.

1 comment:

Jenny said...

Oh, I love it. I love how you describe Miles' love for fiction. I've heard a few good stories from him! You are such a good mom. I love watching you and listening you talk about your kids :) AND I love your guacomole. AND I love how you think of me when you make guacomole.