Lately, the boys have been ignoring me. They get so involved in what they are doing, that my voice seems to sound like a soothing wave on some distance shore. I can't tell you how severely this has been grating on my nerves. And yet, this added frustration in my heart does not aid in the teaching moments. They are such repeat offenders that my heart isn't even ready to hear there monotone voices say, "Mommy, I'm sorry for ignoring you. Will you please forgive me?" I'm tempted to either give them an acting lesson on how to inflect your voice to make it sound more believable. Or, I feel like saying, "NO! You are not forgiven. Ignoring your mother 25 times in one day is UNFORGIVABLE!!!" I'm not condoning this attitude. I'm just being honest. So, the question is, how do I take time to cool off while trying to teach them to take time to show remorse???
Make them apologize in written form. I tossed each of them a notebook and a pencil and said, "Write me a note of apology." And then I left their room already feeling a bit lighter.
When I read these, particularly Avery's (the legible one), I felt a sense of justice. I felt more ready to truly forgive. So, today (maybe not tomorrow), having my children take time to apologize in written form worked for me. Added bonus is that it makes a great addition to their memory boxes!
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7 comments:
I love this and will at some point use it for the same reason. I can just see their faces as you handed them paper..."oh boy...she means it now!!"
I really like that idea, Jenna. Sometimes putting pen to paper can cause one to think more carefully about what he/she did. Those notes you showed are keepers!
The apology thing is hard sometimes. I'd like to hear (or see!) a heartfelt one from my kids more often than I do. (especially when they've wronged each other)
Thanks for the thoughts!
Love,
Karla
love that he included a verse. serious bonus points avery!
I can remember writing a couple letters of apology in my younger days. lol And you're right - It gives a deeper sense of justice served. Plus, it really sinks in with the kids more than a quick, insincere "Sorry!"
My mom totally used to have us write out apology letters. When we were a little older and had more serious indiscretions, we were given topical essays to write (i.e. an essay on the importance of respecting one's mom)
found you thru wwfm. EXCELLENT idea here. not just on enabling our kiddos to think more about saying sorry sincerely, but to help in writing/spelling in the process. i love it!
I found your WFMW. These are great. These are a reflection of great parenting. You have great boys. Love em.
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