Monday, December 22, 2008

a proposal for those who wish to remain anonymous

It totally doesn't bother me that people "lurk" on my blog. At all. It doesn't feel intrusive. I am a fellow "lurker" at heart. Actually, I'm an avid eavesdropper. I Love listening to conversations between strangers. I remember a time Brent and I were at an airport and he was talking to me and I shushed him. Remarkably, the noise he was making pierced the bulletproof prison glass which my mind had constructed in order to block out all noise but the repartee of strangers. In the end, the content wasn't memorable, but it captured my attention for a few minutes. I love listening in. So, lurkers, I feel you!

(But, here's where we're different.)

When it's appropriate, I love putting in my two cents. Anyone who's been out in public with me has seen it. I talk to strangers. There's always something to say, to ask, to comment on, etc. I've wondered if it seems obnoxious, but I recently witnessed a friend do this. It was quite amusing to watch Molly interact with this ageless pink-haired, black-clad emaciated emo fella. He was enthusiastically giving her the low down on Tamagachis. It was great. But, I think I've digressed. The point is that it's o.k. for strangers to talk. (At least, I think that's my point.)

So, you anonymous non-commenters have me curious.

As totally ironic as this is...I have a question for you:

How do you keep so quiet out there?

You don't have to tell me who you are or whether you know me. But, if you did leave a comment, what would you say? Or, why do you remain so silent?

22 comments:

Toiling Ant said...

I don't remember if I've ever commented here or not, so I may or may not be one of the lurkers to whom you refer... but I read far more blogs than I leave comments. Mostly it's a time thing, and a "does this add anything" thing. It takes several clicks from Google reader to a blog's comment page, ya know. ;-) Besides, I'm not much of a "yeah, what YOU said!" kind of commenter, for the most part, so if I don't have anything constructive to say, I tend not to leave a comment.

Jen said...

I'm a lurker. I've commented a few thimes, though. I like your honesty and "down to earth"ness. I agree with Toiling Ant that the effort to move from Google Reader to the comment page is a lot. Often, I forget what I was going to say! On other blogs I'm just intimidated by the other commenters.

adoptionroad said...

I think it was your playlist of '80s hits that first caught my attention. I got here via Molly and decided to stick around. And I wouldn't call myself a stalker since I think I saw you at the bloggers get together in Sept at DG Conference. I would ditto Toiling Ant that unless my comments really add something, I tend to stay silent. Although personally I love comments so I guess I should share the love. As far as talking to strangers, I'm incurable. On one of my flights to Japan, I purposely tried to not divulge any details of my life or my husband's job to my seat mate. It was just after 9/11 and all. I failed miserably. Instead I discovered that he and my husband had been in the same Jingle Bell Jog that winter. The world gets smaller every day.

Aubrey said...

I don't like to say anything at all unless it's witty...

Okay, just kidding!
My 3 daughters keeping me drama-ized so when I'm on the net it's usually a low effort activity.

I'm totally a stranger talker. I love to hear people and interact with them. It happens almost second nature at Target!

Janelle said...

Why do I remain silent? That's a great question.

Mostly because I don't want to freak you out with my interest in your life. We've never met and probably never will, so how do I explain why I like to read about who you are and how you live?

(I suppose you understand this better than some bloggers, as you are also an eavesdropper...)

I love to live vicariously through other people. And often as I read blogs I think, "Wow, we could really be friends if we met despite the fact that we are so different" and then I chicken out on the chance to make friends via the internet.

So since you seem okay with sharing your life with total strangers, let me introduce myself. Hi, my name is Janelle. And I, too, hate the Christmas Shoes song with a passion. I also have a love affair with fabric. It's nice to meet you!

Mitch said...

Hi Jenna! I usually jump over from your comments on Molly or Abraham's respective blogs. I attend Bethlehem and used to work in Beginners before I got married. I usually don't comment on blogs because I find that it is not my best forum for communication.

Jessica said...

I don't remember if I've commented here or not... probably not... I just found your blog recently.

The main reason I don't frequently comment on people's blogs is because by the end of the day when I get to sit down and sort through my Google Reader, and I find a post on which I'd like to comment - someone else has already said basically the same thing! I don't see much point (personally) in restating something others have before me.
If I have something to say and it's not been said before, I usually post it. I do enjoy reading your blog though! :)

Amanda said...

Hi Jenna,
We were at Covenant Church together briefly, before you moved (i am still there) and i remember you (being very funny). I found your blog from either kelly someone else from church and i like reading your stories and everything else! I never commented b/c i did not want to you think i am crazy, but i have wanted to. Guess i will from now on when the occassion strikes! =)

Katherine said...

I just don't comment much! I read about 25 blogs daily, but RARELY do I comment. I'm sort of an introvert, I suppose, so I don't feel any kind of compulsion to comment on something unless absolutely necessary. Of course, I'm de-lurking now just to answer your question. :) I ALSO hate to have to log in to leave a comment ... although I have the same setting on my own blog.

Jenna said...

i love that i know some of you!

mitch! i didn't know you were married. i DID notice that you were sitting close to a pretty girl in church, but these things happen so fast! congratulations! i remember working in the beginners class with you when lydia s. was your trusty sidekick. she never let you put her down!!!

amanda! i still have my handy dandy Cov. Pres. directory! (I'm a pictorial directory addict! Our current church has a big one. It keeps me entertained for long stretches of time!) plus, your name is so familiar. i think you're friends with everyone i was friends with! I have to ask. Are you related to Nancy Leigh Demoss? just wondering....

adoption road. i'm only slightly jealous at the mention of you going to japan! i've been to your blog, too...did you have another blog before that one? i think i've been to it or i'm thinking of someone else.

LOVE ALL OF YOU "STRANGER TALKERS"! hilarious. I have more to say. But, I must go to bed!
Thanks for the comments thus far. I can really relate to:
-effort of clicking through
-someone already said it
-i don't have something witty enough to say...yet!
-other commenters intimidate me (but that's not on this blog...we're talking 22-words, of course!)
-thinking, "we could totally be friends?!"

ok...must. sleep.

The Evans Family said...

i must say i lurk... oh wait no i don't :) but i really MUST say i love love love your new hair-do! cute!

JPB said...

I'm adding you to my blog role because I need more of this kind of blog in the life of my mind.

But that means I have to cut something.

JPB said...

Regarding that comment you left ...

Ridiculous! I'm with my wife. This is wholesome, sincere, honest down-to-earthy bloggyness at its best.

I've been preparing a post on Incarnational blogging in my mind for a long time.

Now I'm going to use yours as an example.

Anonymous said...

Hello.

I don't want to be the rude one but you honestly seem to thrive on attention. You welcomed these comments so you could get more in the future right? I ask that because you seem to thrive on how many comments and people read your blog. Pretty high school, I think. I'll remain anonymous though-since you don't mind.

Jenna said...

dear anonymous,
"i don't want to be the rude one"

you could have stopped yourself.
furthermore, i don't think "rude" suffices. perhaps, "overly confident in my assessment of others" would be more like it.

"but you honestly seem to thrive on attention"

sometimes, maybe (i'll think about that more...i have a degree in theater), but that wasn't my motivation for this post.

"you welcomed these comments so you could get more in the future, right?"

wrong. i get plenty. more than i'd ever expect since i don't really consider myself to be a bonafide blogger...just somebody with words and a computer.

"i ask that because you seem to thrive on how many comments and people read your blog"

huh? what even makes you think that? no. i admit, there have been times when i've checked my counter way too much. i've felt convicted about that. it 's stupid. the point of this post? i was really just trying to help people feel comfortable stopping by. i don't want anyone to feel like they are unwelcome...like they are lurking...like they can't put in their two cents. people like you even, i guess.

"pretty high school, i think"

you mean like anonymous notes?

"i'll remain anonymous though-since you don't mind"

honestly, i do mind, a little. you weren't nice. your comments were accusing and you want to humiliate me. you could have brought your concerns to me privately (there's the envelope icon to send private comments by email).

well, anonymous...i'm so curious why you even come to my blog. but, i'm not saying that to get more comments.

i'm leaving your comment on the blog, because...whatever...it's real. it happened. you had an opinion.

to the rest of you! i just got back from being out of town. i have lots of posts in my brain? who doesn't? just when you have a blog you think in terms of writing instead of just...thinking...
blessings to you all, even you, mr. or ms. scroogy anonymous commenter.

Mrs. MK said...

Well, I am here from Molly's as well, and I think that it's mostly the time factor that keeps me from commenting often. I hop, skip and jump around my blogs, and then try to tear myself away from this darn computer screen!!

At least that's my New Year's resolution!

Anonymous Me said...

Hi Jenna.

Love your blog. Thought of commenting recently...wanted to know how the no poo project is going. OOOhhh, is that what led to the radical haircut? :). Very cute, btw.

I don't comment because then I'd be inclined to re-introduce myself. (Friend of Neely's). And commenting takes long enough as it is. And, I like to lurk. Glad you don't mind.

My favorites are stories about the boys. What got me hooked on your blog - your night out "date nights" with the boys. Also love the Jet Family.

Another day.

Jenna said...

hey anonymous me,

welcome, o-friend-o-my-sista!

i kinda fell off the "no 'poo" wagon, but I'm getting back on. (it doesn't help that neely just gave me some delicious jon english shampoo!)

I've used shampoo like half of the time, since I posted. I use baking soda to wash and apple cider vinegar for conditioner when i no 'poo!!

thanks for asking. i need the accountability!

theperrittes said...

Hey there,

My reasons have already been stated...and maybe I am chicken (imagine random lurker doing the chicken dance from Arrested Dev. ...i like the way Lindsey does it, so let's go with that one)

Love your blog. Funny and real. Two of the best qualities in a person.

Kari

e&e said...

Hi Jenna,

I'm just catching up on some blogs while my babe in arms sleeps and my two yr old in bed doesn't. I don't think I've ever commented here before, but I do so enjoy you're honesty. And I enjoy the nursing cover-up my hubby bought from you for me. The fabrics are awesome. I must add that I'm extremely impressed with Eric's ability to find you and come through for me after I dropped only one (not-too) subtle hint. Thank you!

elisa

Theophilus said...

jenna -
i guess i am a lurker. found you through the piper's blog reference to your son's declaration that john and noel piper were the best parents ever. and my wife and i keep reading from time to time because we think you and your kids are HILARIOUS.
ben and tara

Jenna said...

i don't *really* think of readers as lurkers.

thanks for the feedback, ben. it makes me want to categorize the posts (like most everyone else does) so that people can read posts just about the kids, or just about sewing or whatever it is they like about the blog.

thanks for thinking our kids are hilarious. we are trying to train them up in the way they should go, and i think hilarious is a good direction...(among others, of course)