confession # 20 - oh, the thinks you can think

It was 11am and I hadn't heard from Brent. He always checks in with me by mid-morning.

I couldn't remember* him telling me that he had any meetings. Huh? I thought for a short moment,

Could I be Left Behind**???


*Actually, I forgot that he had his annual review today. I'm losin' it!

** I've never read Left Behind.

taking advice at my other blog

Pop on over to my sewing blog, if you don't mind. I need a second opinion. You don't have to do this, I just thought I'd ask...

why stay-at-home mother's don't make salads for lunch

As if I needed another mess to clean up.

this one makes me chuckle

rock the vote

Hey, friends, most of you have probably already heard, but I'll tell you anyway:

22 Words was nominated for a bloggie award.

(I know. It's a new thing to me too, but stay with me.)

If you have ever gone to Abraham's blog, you know that it rocks and it deserves a vote.

If you haven't ever visited, go now, and enjoy it (especially my awesome comments...probably that's HALF the reason it got the nom, but I won't tell him that.) And then vote for it!

So simple. Put it on your to-do list. Cross it off. And feel accomplished.

just in case you didn't read it in the comments

I love embarrassing stories. Even if I'm the victim. So, following Abraham's "mommy" story, I shared mine.

(here it is, copy & pasted from the comments).

In college, when Brent and I were just friends and called each other 50 times a day, he called and used a falsetto voice. Completely thrown off, I said, "Mommy??".

It still embarrasses me 12 years, a wedding ring and three kids later...

And it still makes me laugh.

given a chance

today I was thinking about God's discipline

The Bible says that God disciplines those whom he loves. He loves so many, and disciplines much, but, I can only think of one time a Christian friend referred to something specific--the loss of her husband's job--and said, "...and we know that God disciplines those whom he loves..."

Honestly, I was stunned. It wasn't pity. I wasn't painful for her to say. It wasn't really anything, but faith. But, she called it discipline. It wasn't out of a feeling of guilt (as far as I knew, of course), but just trusting God's hand.

I have more thoughts. But, in the meantime, I'll ask how you see the troubles in your life. Do you see them as sometimes, never or always God's discipline. I mean, I don't even know what I'd say...just thinking about it...and have some things I want to share when I have time.

it must be football season

Crazy 8s (a tag)

I was tagged by Sarah almost a month ago!! I wanna tag someone who will do this (even if it takes a month or two!). How about Janice??

8 T.V. shows I watch

1. The Office (really, the only one I do watch currently)
2. Arrested Development (on dvd)
3. So You Think You Can Dance (cannot get enough of this!)
4. SNL (every once in awhile)
5. Mad T.V. (sometimes)
6. um.
7. hm.
8. wuh?

8 Favorite Restaurants

1. Chipotle
2. Cafe Latte
3. India Palace
4. Pineda Tacos (it was only once and just recent, but golly it was tasty!)
5. A few gigs on the Hill, which I can't remember
6. Cardwell's (in St. Louis)
7. Longfellow Grille (for the sweet potato fries and the late Elvis Burger, which they removed from the menu...bastards...)
8. Pretty much any good Thai restaurant

8 Things I look forward to most in the morning

1. Coffee
2. Smelling Jillian's stinky breath (recently smelled like a hermit crab's aquarium. no joke.)
3. Cuddling with Miles
4. Seeing Avery has already managed breakfast for himself (I find his independence adorable)
5. Looking to see if it has snowed
6. Calling Brent to see if he made it to work, and how he's doing, and tell him I miss him already
7. Thinking new thoughts
8. Going to bed early (because I never do, but I always think I might with the hope that I will wake up more refreshed than I am in that moment...)

8 Most Recently Viewed Movies

1. Honey and Clover (a japanese film)
2. Lars and the Real Girl
3. King of Kong/Fistful of Quarters
4. Bottlerocket (again)
5. Persepolis
6. Baby Mama
7. Juno
8. Prince Caspian

8 Things One Might Find Interesting or Peculiar about Me

1. I remember names, as long as I learn the first and last name. If you say, "My name's Heather." I'll forget it immediately. If you say, "Hi! I'm Heather Winklerschmidt." It's locked in forever.
2. I used to be a morning person until we had kids.
3. I LOVE order. I live in chaos. It's maddening, I tell you!!!
4. I didn't read for pleasure until I was in my mid-twenties. I have so much catching up to do on good reads!!!
5. I'm not much of a planner. It's a necessity, but I get kinda depressed when all my days are filled up before I get to them.
6. I'm indecisive. big time. For example, I've been wondering if I should dye my hair for five years. I mean, I've decided not to for five years??? No. I'm just undecided.
7. I've never been overseas. Don't even have a passport. Wish I did...wish I could...
8. It took me 15 minutes to come up with #7.

8 smells I love

1. the ocean
2. horse barns (leather, horses, hay...all of it. I miss it a lot!)
3. clean clothes
4. coffee
5. neutrogena sesame body oil
6. pipe tobacco
7. onion and garlic sizzling in olive oil
8. my children, clean or stinky

i should have been blogging or reading the bible

but, no. i joined twitter. i'm so incredibly mad at myself. can someone explain the point of twitter? i mean...is it just another tool of the devil?? just wondering....

oh, the irony

I just wrote a post entitled something like, "The ridiculousness of pride as seen in my list of things I've been prideful about."

And then (obviously) I wrote this list of things that have generated some amount of pride. And they are ridiculous, really.

But, I was (am?) too afraid to post it for fear (pride) you won't like me anymore...because it is so ridiculous to be prideful about things...such as "having kids who eat spinach"...and such...

asinine, really.

common parenting problem for me

I wish I could sound as natural when giving some affirmation of virtue to my children as I do when I say something like, "That was hilarious!" or "You're a good eater!"

Why do I feel like I put on a Sunday school teacher voice when I talk about the most important subject matter??? Even if I am not Sunday school teacherish, I don't sound as authentic, you know? At least, it feels that way to me.

when do kids transition from saying "mommy" to saying "mom"???

Me: Miles, since when did you start calling me "Mom"? You're too young to be calling me "Mom".

Miles: I like calling you "Mom". I'm too old to call you "Mommy", I think.

Me: No you're not. You're a Kindergartner, for pete's sake. Avery didn't start calling me "Mom" until about two seconds ago. I like being called "Mommy".

Miles: I like calling you "Mom".

Me: You might like it, but I don't think it feels right.

Avery: Me neither.

Miles: Me neither...but I like it.

playing favorites

i'll be honest. i think i like my other blog better right now.

no raw emotions.
no drama.
no (self-imposed) pressure.
no need to remember a funny story accurately.

just pretty fabrics, spools of thread, crafti-deliciousness...ah....

it's like a new friendship. no expectations. just discovery.

talkin' with the boys in the car

Miles, noticing the concentration of churches downtown: Why is there one church right next to another church?

Me, unready to answer questions as usual: Well. Some churches believe different things and...

Avery: Our church is the MOST godly.

Me, ignoring that for now: wha? Oh. Um. And some churches just have different styles. I mean, some churches have different music styles and some churches are really formal and some are really casual...

Miles: Yeah. Like our chaplain at school is REALLY casual, because he says, "Thanks, God for this day...instead of Thank YOU, God."

nothing says "i love you" like a meatloaf. no, really.

After the sprain, I know some of my out-of-town friends felt badly they couldn't do anything to help. But may your hearts be warmed by the fact that not only did Molly and Abraham hook me up with this fine personalized meatloaf (really, you two should publish this recipe and challenge any non-meatloaf eaters to try it!!! it was delish!). Josh and Sara brought a pan of their fabulous mostacolli and bread. And Marty did indeed have our friend, Tiffany, deliver a full-to-the-brim bag of Trader Joe's goodies. I might be forgetting some other kindness that came my way, but the point is that I was taken care of. God is good.

(Now, I hope this is the last time I mention the ankle, because even though I'm not trying to, I feel like I'm milking it somehow!!)

oh. side note/question: Is it a St. Louis thing to pronounce mostacolli something like musk-uh-cho-ly??? I'm trying to figure out if I have a legitimate roots to my mispronunciation.

a blog on the side

i started a sewing blog. so. i'll put all my crafty stuff over there and stop buggin' you non-crafting, fabric haters.

it started as an easy way to show a customer a cover-up. and it blossomed into this. (about an hour ago.) i imagine many of the post titles will be like, "yeah, ingrid, i thought you might like these" or something like that.

hey, if you go over there, feel free to give me a suggestion for a blog title. i just couldn't come up with anything catchy.

me and the boys talkin'

Me: Y'know, you two are very different, but...

Miles: I KNOW we're different. Avery could hit a ball over the house when he was three. And I don't even think I could hit one over the house NOW?!

Me: Yeee-ah. That's probably right, Miles. Avery's always been into...

Avery: Sports!

Me: Yep. Never did like art or drawing. All little kids make scribbles when they are little, but a lot of kids would show you their scribble and say, "Look, it's me 'n Gramps at McDonalds." But, when I asked Avery to tell me about his picture, he just looked at it and said, "I know don't know...lines and dots."

Avery laughs, amazed at his candor: Really??

Me: Yes, really.

i'm not a steady eddy

I get things done in bursts. The gimpy ankle is not conducive to my habits. Everything takes so much longer than it used to.

Oh, how I wish I could be a steady eddy, whose every stride is some modest accomplishment, which accumulates over the course of the day into some triumphant crossed-off to-do list.

if you really want to know what's been on my heart for the last 24 hours

Psalm 22:6
But I am a worm and not a man, scorned by mankind and despised by the people.

Galatians 2:20
I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. The life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the one who loved me and gave himself for me.

Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Philippians 4:5
Let your reasonableness be made known to everyone. The Lord is at hand.

Matthew 16:25
For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

i hopped on the computer to do something else, but my desire to write a "brain dump" cannot be overcome

I really have a lot to say, but I don't want to overwhelm you with bulky paragraphs. I will try to be brief.

Relationships:
I think I have a habit of inadvertently making people feel insignificant. I hope it's not true, but if it is, I don't know what to do about it.

Reading the Bible:
I want to do this everyday this year (well, not just this year...). What I read affects what I want. That can be good...or dangerous.

Christmas:
I'm trying to figure out why I dreaded (and would have avoided) Christmas this year. That's not to say I wasn't excited to see my parents and aunts and uncle who visited. I highly anticipated that. But, Christmas, the gifts, the traditions...it's shameful for me to admit this so blatantly, but I could have skipped it.

Avery:
My hopes for him range from incredibly superficial (Please, Lord, give him another front tooth!) to desperate pleading (Lord, save him!!! I want to see him satisfied in You!). On a somewhat separate note, I've learned that he's just not that expressive and I need to stop faulting (and sometimes loathing) him for his communication style. I know I sound harsh, but maybe the next category will clarify...

(my) Emotions:
When I communicate how I feel about something, I am NOT making the statement that this is how I SHOULD feel about it. What I usually mean is, "I'm feeling _______, but I know that's not right and I need to change." Recently realized that Brent is totally different. (You're all saying "duh".) And so when he hears me say, "I'm feeling ________." He thinks I mean that the circumstance needs to change...not me. Nope. I need to change.

the Ankle:
Feels so much better. Still can't walk normally, still need the brace, but don't necessarily need crutches. Had company over last night and was honestly embarrassed that I was neither nimble nor quick!

New Year's Eve meal:
Chipotle + a margarita = a colon cleanse, I think. Hm. Maybe we should submit the bill to Health Partners.

New Year's Eve company and games:
Games + three couples who love games = lots and lots of hilarity. Learned a new game. If I can find a directions online, I'll link here. It would be worth your time. I'm addicted. I want to play right now.

Fiction:
hm...I've written a post about the latest thing I read. I need to edit it and see if I want to post. I love fiction. I can finish novels. It's impossible for me to be too careful about what I feed my brain, though. Seriously. I think it can send me into a spiritual coma or something. And I don't think the solution is a buncha Christian lit. I could use a list of tried and true novels that won't pollute my mind.

the blog:
How much can I reveal in my heart without feeling overly exposed? And...why do I even have a blog? I mean, I just meant it to be a virtual scrapbook and now it's like some Christmas letter with too many random details that never ends...

Speaking of Christmas Letters...
I didn't send out Christmas cards this year. Fits in with the inexplicable Christmas-dread thing. I've thought about doing a New Year's card, but I can tell already that I probably won't follow through with it.

Ending this post:
I have to do it somehow. How about abruptly?